Introduction
As I was driving to work one day, listening to talk radio, a guest came on that talked specifically about men being warriors. The speaker was asked about progressive ideas and he talked about how gender is now a choice or what you feel versus biology. For instance, with respect to gender, female athletes who have worked hard to get where they are, now compete against men who chose to identify as women regardless of the scientific fact biologic males are genetically stronger with a few exceptions. Feelings have been elevated over facts. He mentioned that most of the active shooters were men and transitioned to the alarming number of young men who grew up without a father. His point being, whether you agree or not, was that traditional values have systematically been pushed aside for progressive ideas, the results of which are now evident.
While growing up in the ’80s and ’90s, I remember debating classmates about how we have evolved past archaic ideas and needed to embrace a new way of life and thinking. I rejected the notion then and for the most part today. Societal norms or traditional values were formed over thousands of years out of necessity and in most cases out of belief in some sort of higher power. When you distill men and women down, past all of today’s technology, at a base level we are still fundamentally the same as ancestral mankind. We all want to feel safe, avoid conflict, to love, to be loved and live our lives. Casting off norms because one believes we have evolved past them in the last 200 years of technological advances is arrogant.
The guest’s use of the word Warrior triggered so many things that a flood of thoughts, feelings, triumphs, losses, and disappointments entered my mind. With several long sighs, this led me to a rabbit hole I really didn’t want to go down. There are many aspects that makeup what it means to have a warrior spirit. I will be breaking this article into two posts in order to cover just a few of the ideas behind what the warrior spirit means to me through the eyes of a man, husband, father, and hunter.
If you did a search on the term, Warrior Spirit, you would find a number of hits online and from a variety of varied sources. At the end of the blog, I will post links for additional resources on the subject, some might even surprise you. The one that most closely matches what I am trying to illustrate can be found at The Aikido website written by Lynn Seiser, Ph.D. which is where the quotes for each part are coming from.
Part One
“A warrior knows that every challenge is another opportunity to practice and improve their skills.”
In a partnership with Magpul Industries, between 2008 and 2010 a series of videos were produced under the moniker of Magpul Dynamics. The videos took on subjects like using and doing drills for handguns, shotguns, and carbines. At the same time this was going on, I was working with my friend Mr. Dave Young of Arma Training on the Uncle Mike’s Holster Resource Kit and Magpul Dynamics’ course content was eerily similar on premise. Dave and I focused on gross motor skill function and used a ball with holster drills to help law enforcement officers develop muscle memory. The concept being that an officer had to keep their focus on a suspect but be able to access their gear without taking their eye off the suspect. The ball gave the officer something to work with to help build that memory. The instructors for Magpul Dynamics talked about finding your wall or your breaking point and pushing past it. Each time you pushed passed your skill level, learning occurs and skills improve. Often this breaking point is where gross motor skills take over and requires you to build memory to function within that zone.
Personally, things that upset me most in life are not other people or their actions but my own failure to live up to the standard I set for myself. That’s right. My first reaction is to look at where I failed before looking outward. You can call those times a breaking point, challenges, or battles. Those failures were where I found that breaking point and where growth occurred. A warrior doesn’t make excuses for losing but simply will agree they lost. The greatest power is having control over your actions despite circumstances. This definition was one I came to agree with after reading The Myth of Male Power: Why Men Are The Disposable Sex by Warren Farrell. There is a false belief that power is something other than controlling one’s actions. Controlling others isn’t power. It is an illusion and slavery of sorts. If you become master over others, your destiny relies on the ability to control them. Your fate is bound by their willingness to yield to your demands. The tighter you grasp for control, the more people will fight back. Human history is riddled with examples of the masses rising up against tyranny. This is why Socialism and other forms of state “power” simply don’t work for long periods. You cannot control someone’s actions regardless of any social contract or ideological utopia. Someone will fight against what you want because, ultimately, they have their own desires. You can only control your own actions and learn from your failures.
Part Two
“A warrior feels compassion for the people they protect. Tears are often behind their eyes, for it is love, not hate, which motivates.”
In March of 2010, DreamWorks Studio released an animated movie loosely based on Cressida Cowell’s series How To Train Your Dragon. Our daughter was just over two years old at that time. When the movie was released on DVD, we let her watch it around the age of 4. It changed her life. After watching the movie tirelessly, she began her fascination with dragons. It continued with the second movie, TV shows, reading the entire series of books and finally with the latest movie. She has begun to read the Wings of Fire and The Inheritance Cycle series of books as well.
Being a new dad, I didn’t know much about raising a child especially a daughter. Therefore I was delighted to receive a gift from my wife. It was a book I had seen in passing at the Minneapolis Airport. The title was Strong Fathers, Strong Daughters written by Meg Meeker MD. It both scared and fueled me to be better. Fathers have an incredible role in shaping their daughter’s minds, hearts, and values. Our daughters face pressures that we aren’t necessarily aware of or even know how to address. Those pressures are only getting worse through social media and digital outlets. Whenever I talk to other fathers who have daughters, I ask them if they have read or would like a copy of this book. I believe in it so much because, a week or two after I finished reading it, my wife came to me with a statement of observation. She said, “Whatever you changed with how you interact with our daughter, keep doing it.” Such was the positive change in our daughter and the dynamic between father and daughter.
For allowing the use of my daughter’s image for a training presentation, my dear friend Lou Ann Hamblin of LouKa Training gave me a t-shirt. On it were the words “Warrior Women”. The shirt hit home, I wanted to protect my daughter and the best protection was teaching how to stand up for herself. The shirt reinforced a thought in my mind spurred on by my own professional career in self-defense products and hunting past time. I had started talking to my daughter about her Warrior Spirit knowing my daughter’s interests would lend itself well to this. I explained that we are all facing battles some unseen. It is our attitude or how we approach things that make the difference. My daughter still wears the shirt today.
I had explained that some days you are Hiccup or Astrid (Camicazi in the book series) riding a dragon swinging a sword with all your worth and other days you want nothing more than to curl up under a blanket and sleep the day away. In so doing, I was able to find a way that my daughter liked to communicate about her day, week or just thoughts. She recently started Taekwondo and is currently an advanced yellow belt. Today, I can simply ask her, “How is your warrior spirit”, and we will have a short one-word thumbs up moment or talk for as long as it takes.
To Be Continued…
- L. Yarbrough, Bucks & Beers
http://www.aikidofaq.com/essays/warrior_spirit.html
https://www.energyarts.com/living-life-with-the-warrior-spirit/
http://www.chivalrynow.net/articles/warrior.htm
